Why Hurt People, Hurt People

Bullying is a familiar word for many of us who are currently or have attended school. Bullying is not unique to school though, in fact, many of us may experience bullying in settings like sports practice, open gym, or in another after school activity. Wherever the setting may be, we know that bullying is not an act that would make our family proud of us. If we are aware that bullying is wrong, then why do we do it? The truth is that hurt people, tend to hurt people. This phrase means that often bullies are individuals who themselves have undergone or are currently enduring some form of emotional or physical pain. Examples of this include being bullied themselves, observing parents or other family members fighting, or neglect of support from friends and family. By recognizing that bullies are often hurt people themselves, we can now talk about ways that we can express our emotions without physically or emotionally hurting others.

Whenever the world around us makes us feel scared, angry, or sad, we must express these feelings to others respectfully and healthily. We must find someone in our life who we trust and love to listen to our troubles within the world. This trustful person may be a parent, a counselor at school, an elder, or a leader of an after school activity. Regardless of where your pain may take place, it is important that we turn to the people in our lives that love and care for us. By talking about the fighting between our parents, the bullying from a peer, or whatever struggle we may be facing, we are putting ourselves in a situation to manage our emotions appropriately and hopefully solve the conflicts in our lives. The important part is that we ask for help when we are hurt because we are stronger together.

Bullying is something that we will continue to face throughout our lifetime. It is important that we understand that sometimes the cause of bullying is the pain within that individual’s life. By talking about our conflicts in life with those we trust, we will continue to build a healthier and stronger community.